My Gasoline Rainbow

The number one relationship in my life is with my medication. I sometimes struggle with the fact that I will be taking various meds for the rest of my life to manage my condition but that’s the choice I,  my family and my medical team  made in lieu of being hospitalized. At 9.30am and 9.30pm I take my daily meds of: AM 750mg Lithium – mood stabilizer 200mg Topamax – anticonvulsant PM 750mg Lithium 200mg Topamax 50mg Seroquel – antipsychotic OPTIONAL WHEN REQUIRED 5mg Diazepam - anxiety 10mg Temazepam – insomnia Plus other health aids like vitamins, contraception etc….   So on an average day I could be taking between 15-20 pills (depending on my emotional state). If I even miss one day or one dose of the fabulous concoction above, it could potentially trigger a manic episode. Like all medication there are side effects and because I’ve been taking them daily and some of these for 6 years they are by far fr...

It’s been awhile. I haven’t been myself. In fact if I’m perfectly honest I don’t think I’ve ever really been myself. I’ve recently moved house, AGAIN, but this time back to the water, back to where I feel safe and it feels good. I’ve felt a clarity that has got my brain focused again, thinking about writing again (this blog post has been coming together for weeks now!) and it’s exciting. I feel about as close to the real me as I have in years. It’s given me the strength and the opportunity to take the steps I need to follow my vision, my dream. In June 2008, I was diagnosed with the brain disorder Bipolar Type 1, and it changed my life as I knew it forever. I don’t like to use the term “mental illness”, I think it conjures up negative associations like movie style crazy psych wards and tragic news reports….. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about…. We all judge! I was guilty of judging too. For those of you that don’t know what Bipol...