My Gasoline Rainbow

Believe when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain Helen Keller.  Spiralling a bit today but this quote has given me a positive perspective to cling on to with the launch of my blog on the horizon. I hope by being open about living with bipolar and raising awareness about mental illness if I can help at least one person it's all been worthwhile.

You can't see my scars, but my insides are covered in them. But like this Warrior I will continue to fight, wearing them as my badges of honour every day knowing that I made it through.       Missy x

It’s been a rough weekend. I had a total meltdown on Friday night after a build up of stresses got the better of me. After taking my frustrations out on my partner, I ran off taking the keys to the car and ended up in a park down the road in the dark by myself sitting on a swing in a completely hysterical state just crying. Classic Bipolar episode, luckily I was lucid enough to tell my partner where I was so he could walk to where I was, as I was in no state to drive. I’ve been stressed for weeks and it just got too much, a complete emotional overload. I was stressed about dealings with a creative agency I’d been trying to work with to get my blog to where I want it to be within my small budget. I was stressed about issues with my parents and their separation and the toll it was taking on my relationship with my mum. I was stressed about the house and cleaning.  I’d been stressed about my health and my weight.  I’d been stressed about my partner and...

The number one relationship in my life is with my medication. I sometimes struggle with the fact that I will be taking various meds for the rest of my life to manage my condition but that’s the choice I,  my family and my medical team  made in lieu of being hospitalized. At 9.30am and 9.30pm I take my daily meds of: AM 750mg Lithium – mood stabilizer 200mg Topamax – anticonvulsant PM 750mg Lithium 200mg Topamax 50mg Seroquel – antipsychotic OPTIONAL WHEN REQUIRED 5mg Diazepam - anxiety 10mg Temazepam – insomnia Plus other health aids like vitamins, contraception etc….   So on an average day I could be taking between 15-20 pills (depending on my emotional state). If I even miss one day or one dose of the fabulous concoction above, it could potentially trigger a manic episode. Like all medication there are side effects and because I’ve been taking them daily and some of these for 6 years they are by far fr...

It’s been awhile. I haven’t been myself. In fact if I’m perfectly honest I don’t think I’ve ever really been myself. I’ve recently moved house, AGAIN, but this time back to the water, back to where I feel safe and it feels good. I’ve felt a clarity that has got my brain focused again, thinking about writing again (this blog post has been coming together for weeks now!) and it’s exciting. I feel about as close to the real me as I have in years. It’s given me the strength and the opportunity to take the steps I need to follow my vision, my dream. In June 2008, I was diagnosed with the brain disorder Bipolar Type 1, and it changed my life as I knew it forever. I don’t like to use the term “mental illness”, I think it conjures up negative associations like movie style crazy psych wards and tragic news reports….. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about…. We all judge! I was guilty of judging too. For those of you that don’t know what Bipol...

Today, I was lucky enough to attend an intimate luncheon at Seaduction, the incredible five star restaurant located at Sea Temple in Surfers Paradise to celebrate the launch of Charlotte Dawsons' new book "Air Kiss & Tell" which is a raw and real account of her life - the good, the bad and the hilarious. Speaking frankly about some of her life experiences Charlotte opened up about "that" Twitter incident as well as her divorce and looking after her dying mother. As a suffering of depression she is now focussing her efforts to educate on mental health as well as bullying. A true inspiration to women of all ages, her parting comment was "never be ashamed"... Dress:: Dotti Heels:: Famous Footwear Bag/Necklace/Rings:: Wild Bling